tehempknight

there is a hole in my chest,a cavernous,empty thing and i sit and wonder "do i have a chance to fill it","do i deserve to fill it","can i fill it",and if it realy comes down to it do  want to fill it.I have lived so long with with my being as it is alone but in some way whole but i know that is a lie because i have seen the truth i have felt its touch,it taste,and basked in its warmth and i have felt its sting its cruelties and the pain that it can inflict is worse than any i have encounter before but is knowing that your going to feel these things these "disgusting" emotions these beautiful emotions is it worth it to shut yourself off from t

blasted from room to room through the sheer force of his fetid breath revan picked himself from the rubble lookin around for any kind of too late oh, shit again revan dove to the just missing another devastating shatter effect from this most gruesome god of the undead. algoroth the risen dead       killer of children                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 raper of the unwed                                  

I can pretty much handle everything that comes my way be it a death in the family to friends getting into fights with parents but put me into a situation where i have deal with deep meaningful feelings and watch me crumble. I just can't do it I can't find those feeling for anyone i cant even find them for myself. I know what these feeling are i know what they look like and i know how to fake them but i cannot for the life of me truly feel for someone. I just cant do it i don't know why probaly something deep in my head that tries to save me the heartache from such a connection and how it can go wrong. I am not talking about just not being abl